When Valentine’s day comes around, and your coupled friends are meeting lips along a string of spaghetti, there’s no room for sadness, dear singleton. You are a strong, powerful human and you can count your chickens that it’s 2018 and you need no one but yourself. Now run a bath, buy a bottle of cheap bubbly and order the biggest, spiciest bucket of fried chicken you can find.
Music is there for you when people aren’t. Who wants to talk when you can sing. Main inspirations for a solo Valentine’s day include Lily Allen, Chic and Solange because they inspire us to dance rather than cry. We made a playlist for you, because we’re lovers.
Eat whatever you want. No, really, forget health concerns, you are here to live prosperously and eat as much ice cream as you want. Chocolate, chips, banoffee pie, it’s all yours.
With your playlist burnin, light sixteen candles, pour loads of oil in the tub (carrot, coconut, whatever) and breath. This moment is about you. Delete Tinder, hide your phone away and think about how you are the best you there is. ‘Cause if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
If you love cooking, cook something that reminds you of Mum’s house. If you’re ordering foodora, this is the main event. This is the moment that you realise fried chicken is, and always has been, a way more faithful, crispy and tender partner than any human on this Earth. Love your chicken and it will love you back.
Sixteen candles, The Breakfast Club, or anything else with Molly Ringwald is ideal. Additionally, Bridget Jones will keep you company and every Julia Roberts movie ever made (even eat, pray, love) will do the trick. Die Hard, Star Wars: Rogue One or Hunger Games also do the trick due to their lack of care for gross love stories.